If you have ever attempted to grow out an undercut, then you already know this journey is not for the weak, the impatient, or anyone who needs to look consistently presentable in public.
And yet here I am. A survivor. Barely.
For years I have rocked short hair because mine is thick. Not fun, bouncy thick. More like industrial insulation thick. A few years back I decided to keep the top longer but shave the underside, a style I truly loved. Low maintenance. Breezy. Practical. Cute. The dream.
But two months ago I made a bold decision. A questionable decision. A choice that future me would definitely side-eye.
I decided to grow out my undercut.
Friends, it has been ugly. Spectacularly ugly.
The Grow Out Phase: A Modern Tragedy
Picture this. The top of my hair is long. The bottom is confused. It is not long enough to blend, not short enough to style, and absolutely not obedient enough to hide.
My options have been limited to two very unfortunate looks.
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Wear it down and resemble someone who has recently been electrocuted
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Wear it up and reveal the tiny Chia Pet that seems to be sprouting underneath
There is simply no winning in the undercut grow out phase. Only lessons learned and dignity slowly disappearing.
Then Came Real Estate CE at Sea
I spent a week with colleagues and friends on a cruise for Real Estate CE. There is nothing that will humble a person faster than trying to appear professional while the back of your head looks like a feral raccoon tail.
Each Day I Attempted a New Strategy
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I tried putting half of it in a claw clip and the other half in those annoying rubber bands, then attempted to hold it all down with a barrette. Chaos. Pure chaos.
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I tried a low bun but it fell out before it even had a chance to disappoint me properly.
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Half up half down. Still the reigning champion of half hot mess and half cry for help.
The Breaking Point and the Much Needed Appointment
After a week of pretending everything was fine, I finally hit my limit.
Today I made a hair appointment. At last.
And thank goodness I did. After hours of thinning and thinning and shaping and shaping, my hair is finally on a better path. For the first time in months, it resembles something that could one day become an actual hairstyle I am proud of. I may even look like a functioning adult again. Hope is alive!
I do not know why I waited this long. Denial. Hope. Sheer stubbornness. Whatever the reason, the wait is over. I am sprinting toward professional intervention.
At least I am now only mostly embarrassed instead of catastrophically embarrassed. I'll take the win.
Under Cut Grow Out Warriors, Unite
Growing out an undercut should count as a character building exercise. Possibly even a tax deduction.
If you have lived through this disaster zone of a phase, share your pictures or your tale of survival. Show me your proof that we all go through it.😂
And if you have not attempted it yet, feel free to learn from my mistakes. Or at least enjoy the comedy while I endure it.
